Greg Dyke’s plan: what’s the point?

Greg Dyke and the FA have a plan, and it’s as hot as a game of topless darts played in a sauna, by two people with a very high fever.

Well, actually it’s just a topic of discussion that will rumble on for a few years, before becoming a whimsical memory of the past like the idea of a winter break, or playing Wayne Bridge at left back to allow Ashley Cole to solve England’s left sided problem.

Anyway I’m sure you can read all about it from a journalist who is pretending to care about the lower leagues. They will spin a powerful yarn, and say something worthy about lower league football, and probably quote Kipling. Anyway it seems to me that the core of the idea is to help England win the World Cup in 2022.

Is there any point in even attempting to execute this plan? Does anybody actually care about the England team anymore? I mean people go to watch them, but they tend to be part of the England band, and you must never trust anybody who takes an instrument to a football match.

The England team are basically a big brand. They’re a marketing executives dream. They can shift Mars bars and Carlsberg by the boatload, and that’s all that really matters.

Also if you need 4 players to wear a suit and look serious for an advert, well they are more than available to help you with that mission. They will also gleefully punch the air with passionate joy to a Kasabian soundtrack whilst drinking Pepsi max.

The idea that anybody at the FA is interested in anything more than more advertising revenue is somewhat surprising, but asking the football league to sort their mess out for them will not surprise anybody.

Anyway, much as the England team no longer matter, it won’t stop the football league gleefully handing them the keys to their house and giving the premier league permission to sleep with their wife.

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