Dear FA, leave us alone, from the Football League

Hello Greg Dyke, the rest of the FA, and does Bert Millichip still work there?

I know you’re really interested in England one day winning the World Cup, and you’re coming up with exciting new strategies to improve English football, and give the country the best possible chance of glory. However whilst you’re on this fools errand can you just leave the football league alone?

It seems that every new initiative involves an enormous amount of benefit for the premier league, and some huge sacrifice for those who happen to not be in the richest league in the world.

We’re not laboratory rats you can just test your theories out on, before allowing the finished product to be there for the benefit of the Premier League.

Believe it or not, football league fans aren’t all secretly Liverpool supporters, or fans who yearn to see our team in the top flight.

Most of us are fully aware that in the Premier League we’d get battered every week, before returning to the Championship, with nothing more than a grossly inflated wage bill, 20 more players we can’t get rid of, and a new swimming pool for the chairman.

It would be nice if rather than assuming that the problem with the England team is that teams like Bury and Oxford are letting them down by not producing talent or playing loanees, that instead realise that the Premier League is the guilty party.

It’s their greed in hoarding young players from teams up and down the country, who then get lost in academies, and disappear out of football without kicking a ball.

It’s their policy of buying players rather than promoting from within when their left back has a cold, which holds back the national side. Well, that and the fact that coaching is sub standard, and that we play an outdated style of football.

The football league has provided many players who’ve gone on to play for their Country, from Joe Hart at Shrewsbury to future England star Connor Wickham at Ipswich. There have been countless others too.

We are clubs with rich histories, with fans who actually care about their club, far more than they ever will about the prospects of the national team.

Football league clubs still get involved in the community, and matter to the those who will go to the game regardless of division or league positions. They’re a huge focal point for many in Towns and Cities across the country. These are clubs that have been around for over a hundred years in some cases, and continue to be a vital part of a Saturday afternoon for millions.

We don’t want to be feeder clubs, we’re quite happy losing one week, winning the next, and seeing our local club continue along the path of mediocrity, and never contributing a thing to the England team or the Premier League.


Greg Dyke’s plan: what’s the point?

Greg Dyke and the FA have a plan, and it’s as hot as a game of topless darts played in a sauna, by two people with a very high fever.

Well, actually it’s just a topic of discussion that will rumble on for a few years, before becoming a whimsical memory of the past like the idea of a winter break, or playing Wayne Bridge at left back to allow Ashley Cole to solve England’s left sided problem.

Anyway I’m sure you can read all about it from a journalist who is pretending to care about the lower leagues. They will spin a powerful yarn, and say something worthy about lower league football, and probably quote Kipling. Anyway it seems to me that the core of the idea is to help England win the World Cup in 2022.

Is there any point in even attempting to execute this plan? Does anybody actually care about the England team anymore? I mean people go to watch them, but they tend to be part of the England band, and you must never trust anybody who takes an instrument to a football match.

The England team are basically a big brand. They’re a marketing executives dream. They can shift Mars bars and Carlsberg by the boatload, and that’s all that really matters.

Also if you need 4 players to wear a suit and look serious for an advert, well they are more than available to help you with that mission. They will also gleefully punch the air with passionate joy to a Kasabian soundtrack whilst drinking Pepsi max.

The idea that anybody at the FA is interested in anything more than more advertising revenue is somewhat surprising, but asking the football league to sort their mess out for them will not surprise anybody.

Anyway, much as the England team no longer matter, it won’t stop the football league gleefully handing them the keys to their house and giving the premier league permission to sleep with their wife.