Finally, an England team I can support.

Last night was not a surprise to anybody, as England put in a now typically limp performance against an overhyped Ukraine side.

The national team now consists of a lower league target man, being aimed at by an ageing midfield duo who couldn’t play together when they were in their prime, let alone now where if they were supermarket produce they’d have a yellow label attached to them. Add to this a defence with all the balance of a one legged vertigo sufferer wearing a very heavy hat and finally this is a team I feel happy supporting.

It isn’t that we might be good if a fat rascal doesn’t cheat us by punching the ball into the goal, or if we avoid getting a key player sent off, we are now just bad.

We panned the river for a golden generation, but all that remains now is some muck, a used condom and a pair of old boots. The “golden age” is over now & what remains is worth less than nothing.

There isn’t a player available who’ll improve us dramatically, there is absolutely no style to our play, and the manager is a pragmatist who won’t take risks.

All in all it’s pretty hopeless for England, but I’m quite happy with that. I’m comfortable with mediocrity, I’ve achieved it all my life, so this is finally an England team I can relate to. I look forward to captain Nigel Reo Coker leading this team to a first round tournament exit.

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