Top 10 Premier League potential product placements

With news that Maria Sharapova is launching a range of sweets called Sugarpova, minds start to wander and wonder if our poor, underpaid superstars of the Premier League are really maximising their brand (a phrase which, if it isn’t in the Viz Profanisaurus, really ought to be soon). What could our heroes put their names to? Here’s our top ten:

10. Gareth Hay-Balers

9. David Sterling-Silva cutlery

8. Skrteling boards

7. Leroy Fur coats

6. Jonjo Shelving units

5. Charles N’Zog-beer

4. Guy Dremel multi-tool

3. Berba-toffee

2. Gary Medel-of-Honour

1. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buttner

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