The 90 second Premier League preview. Sponsored by corporate greed & hosted by Jamie Redknapp

The last of our 90-second previews is the best 90-second preview in the world. Fitting.

Arsenal
Obscenely rich, make noises about spending money, but don’t. Could struggle.

Aston Villa
Obscenely rich, but trying to make savings on the wage bill. Could struggle.

Cardiff
Obscenely rich, which makes one able to ride roughshod over a club’s traditions no matter what everyone thinks. Could struggle.

Chelsea
Obscenely rich and don’t care who knows it. They surely can’t sack this manager. Could struggle.

Crystal Palace
Obscenely rich following promotion. Bewilderingly tolerated idiot in charge. Squad needs an overhaul for them to compete which doesn’t look like happening. Could struggle.

Everton
Obscenely rich, though like to plead poverty. Somehow managed to get Spain’s brightest young star to blend with silky Belgian up front. Hired relegated players and relegated manager – that always works out. Could struggle.

Fulham
Obscenely rich. Inoffensive club with squad boosted by Berbarotica. Managed to get another Dutch international keeper on the cheap. How do they do that? Could struggle.

Hull
Obscenely rich. Under the impression that hiring retired goalkeepers and goal-shy strikers is a recipe for success. Could struggle.

Liverpool
Obscenely rich. Short of defenders and missing star striker for several more weeks after unfortunate bitey incident. Could struggle.

Manchester City
Obscenely rich and spending it. Added more width and a manager who knows what he’s doing. Expectation sky-high. Could struggle.

Manchester United
Obscenely rich. New era begins. Bébé is still on their books, y’know. Reigning champions and favourites for a repeat. Could struggle.

Newcastle
Obscenely rich. Good recent history of buying cheap and selling on. Not a bad plan, but stodgy manager incapable of improving players undermines it. Boardroom comedy outshines all else. Could struggle.

Norwich
Obscenely rich. Recruited well after a difficult second season back in the top flight. Survival still the name of the game. Could struggle.

Southampton
Obscenely rich and not afraid to splash a bit about to improve, especially defensively which was an issue. Now need to find some goals. Could struggle.

Stoke
Obscenely rich and undoing the long-established but out-moded methods of doing what they did. It might take more than a tiki-taka defender and a Dutch left-back to complete the transformation. Could struggle.

Sunderland
Obscenely rich managerial ego trip. Some decent signings – Jozy Altidore is a better player than last time he was in England – but still too reliant on too few players. Could struggle.

Swansea
Obscenely rich and spaffed a lot of that on a striker, which they needed. Raided Spain to great success last year and have gone back for more. If anything, look better now than 12 months ago. Could struggle.

Tottenham
Obscenely rich, but still seemingly unable to sign a striker (oh they got one). Chucked another Belgian at it, as is the modern way. Could struggle.

West Brom
Obscenely rich overachievers. Now established in the Premier League, but will do well to match last season. Anelka comes in, Odemwingie still not escaped. Could struggle.

West Ham
Obscenely rich and survived their first season back with little alarm. Added leadership and experience in the form of Razvan Rat, but largely remain the same, moulded in their manager’s idiom. Could struggle.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s